You are Whole

Love - in each creation - perfection

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2015

Okay, so here's the deal, as I see it:

You need no one to make you whole; you are perfectly complete and amazing as you are. If one should enter your world to love you, and you to love them, it should only add to your already complete capacity to live your unique life. If another person depletes you over an extended period, it may not be the best course of action for either of you. If you add to the life of each other, support one another and accept one another as you were found, then jolly good!

The fact is, we needn't pair up. We can if we want to, but we cannot be completed by another. I reiterate, each of us is a whole and perfect being on our own particular path of life. As I wrote to my soul sister, the remarkable Sheila Jeffries, the other day:

"Happy Valentines Day to everyone who can feel their heart beating within their chest - each rhythmic thump is a wave of love out to the world as a gift from you to the perfect universal unity that exists within, and between, each of us ...if we just allow it to be so."

Life is opportunity to embrace the amazing machine, the open thermodynamic system, that you are. Life is your chance to be fluid, to let go, to stop holding and being afraid. There is enough love, enough energy for all. Let go. Let it flow through you from your connection to all that is - up through your feet and out through the top of your head. Let it rise up through the world and cycle down through the earth and up through your feet again.

Magnolia

Gillian Cornwall, c. Spring 2014

"There is force in the universe which, if we permit it, will flow through us and produce miraculous results." -Mahatma Gandhi

If you aren't sharing this weekend with a lover, do not worry. You are perfect. You are whole, beautiful and full of capacity. Go outside. Smile at someone. The life you may save in doing this is the greatest love you could ever share.

With every wish for your happiness, for your joy in the simple things and with love to each of you.

Gillian Cornwall, February 12, 2017

Original post, c. February 14, 2016

The Golden Heart - Mystic Vale

Gillian Cornwall, c. February 2016

Resource Material: 

The First 16 Secrets of Chi

The Laws of Thermodynamics

The Four Agreements

Comfort and Joy

Christmas Time

Gillian Cornwall, c. December 2010

Christmas time, I lay under the tree staring up through the boughs and inhaling the fresh, outdoor scent of the scotch pine, my eyes blurring with the mystery in the strings of painted bulbs of blue and orange and green and red. The delicate, sparkling, colourful ornaments of an impossibly thin glass dangled precariously from the ends of the branches and the stretch of golden garland was carefully wound around the circumference of the tree from the angel atop to the bottom boughs. The whole process was completed by my brothers and me, as strings of silver, tinsel icicles were artfully tossed on select branches. We tried to keep these out of reach of Sarah, our Siamese cat, lest she ingest them in some sort of untimely, seasonal attempt at her own demise. Occasionally, we found evidence of her tinsel snacking in sparkling litter box parcels. 

Back under the tree, I lay pyjama-clad and lost in the magic of the season - small enough that this tree land was a fort unto itself. For a day, perhaps even more, there would be peace and I would be lost in a world where kindness prevailed amid the songs of the season played on our Zenith High Fidelity Stereo System. This was a world of reindeer and Santa Claus, surrounded by mysterious packages wrapped in paper depicting dreamworlds of sleighs and horses, snowmen and silver bells, snowflakes and stockings spilling over with treats. 

May it always be a time to rest, to spend in loving kindness with those for whom we are grateful and may the scent of a fresh forest or a string of sparkling lights always be enough to bring you comfort and joy. 

With gratitude to each of you, for your love, your kindness, and your willingness to get up every day and do your best through good times and bad. You are loved and I am blessed for all the wonder you share - simply through your desire to live with love and kindness. Plant yourself in healthy, clean soil and grow with strong, solid roots; reach for the sky and the light with every sunrise.

May every one of you share comfort and joy this season and every wish for a happy and healthy new year. 

-Gillian Cornwall, Re-posted on December 18, 2016

Original Post, c. December 22, 2013

Rest

Summit Park Garry Oaks

Pencil, Graphite and Ink on Paper

8 x 10

Gillian Cornwall, c 2010

Not Available

Down time: Puzzles, tea, a sketchbook, a novel, a hammock, the cottage, a tropical vacation, a walk by the sea, a nap, a walk in the forest, a movie... the list goes on, doesn't it? There are a million things I love to do (or not do) to recharge my engines. I don't know about you but there just doesn't seem to be enough of it either.

I remember when I was a kid - there seemed to be tons of it. I supposed that comes with a privileged, middle-class childhood. I can't remember the last time I just lay under a tree and stared at clouds floating across a big blue sky through branches swaying in a gentle breeze. When I was a youngster, Heather McGhee and I used to ride our bikes to the Mill Pond on a Saturday and eat our bagged lunches on the grass under the tent-like boughs of the giant willow tree. It was peaceful and fun. We had exercise, food, talk and rest. Life was quite perfect.

I don't know when we lose that space, that time, to just be. I am often admonished for the time I spend staring into one of my many devices: laptop, desktop, iPod, smart phone, e-reader, Etch-a-Sketch ...just seeing if you were paying attention. I actually do have an Etch-a-Sketch - two, actually and I love them. I would definitely put Etch-a-Sketch in the down time list.

Big Island of Hawaii

Oil Pastel and Mineral Oil on Paper

8 x 10

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2006

Available

As you can see, I've included some of my own drawings in this post. The thing is, I used to draw in my down time too. I studied with a number of artists and I used to draw pretty much every day - during lunches, after work and on the weekend. Now that I am writing avidly (on the second draft of my first novel) and sending short works and poetry off to magazines, I don't have as much time to draw, so that has gone a bit by the wayside for now.

Victoria Warehouses

Oil Pastel on Paper

8 x 10

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2006

Available

Now it seems, to really get down time, I have to take time off work in large chunks, get any necessary chores out of the way that absolutely have to be done and THEN I can take some down time after I've worked on the writing that has lain dormant because I've been too tired or too this and that... Blah, blah, blah. And trust me, I know, this is all first world problem nonsense but what I really want to get at is, I think it is crucial to make time to chill out - whatever that means to you. If we want to be well then we need to get exercise, eat well, laugh as much as possible, love with an open heart and HAVE FUN!

The House

Watercolour Pencil on Paper

8 x 10

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2004

Available

Even though I was laid off this year with my position being made redundant, I am still getting work there and it is a beautiful location. At lunch, I try to make time to walk to peaceful campus getaways like Mystic Vale - which absolutely restores the soul - particularly from the distress of uncertain employment! I have learned we boldly walk forward with gratitude and a good heart despite the changing times. I have another day, another opportunity to love and be a part of good lives in a beautiful place. I am not without fear in this - I am not perfect - but positive thoughts help lead to positive results. I remain committed to service for those who need it, benefit from it and have the grace and open hearts to receive it.

The Mallard

Watercolour Pencil on Paper

5 x 7

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2004

Available

What do you do for down time? I'm open to new ideas, suggestions and hilarious anecdotes. I'm excited to know that I'm not alone in my need to chill out. I believe that it is in our moments of freedom, our moments of lightness, that greatness happens. Breathe deeply and give space to your potential. Open your mind and heart to all that is here for us if we just stop for a minute, breathe into our bellies and connect to "all". Yesterday I went for a nice dinner with someone I love and drove down by the cruise ships and welcomed all the new visitors to Victoria! They were quite surprised and delighted to have complete strangers welcoming them to the city! 

Baby Parker

Pencil on Paper

Gillian Cornwall

Commissioned - Not available

I think that if we can integrate down time back into our work, we will achieve much greater standards of excellence. Greatness takes time, space and belief in ourselves and each other. All too often, I look around me and I see people racing to check off the boxes. "Let's get it done!" And all too often, if we stopped, thought and made space for thinking outside of the box, we would get it done a lot better, faster and with greater enjoyment.

Arwen Portrait

Pencil on Paper

4 x 6

Gillian Cornwall, c.1999

Not for sale

There is time. There is space. We just need to allow ourselves to take it. Most of us do not NEED more stuff or more money to get more stuff. We need to stop, slow down and be present in our lives. Down time. That's what we need.

The Grizzly Bear

Oil Pastel on Paper

Gillian Cornwall, c. 1996

Available

This is your imposed down time between a grizzly bear and a farm cat. *Breathe here* :-)

Boots the Cat

Oil Pastel on Paper

8 x 10

Gillian Cornwall, c.1994

Available

If anyone is interested, please share your thoughts on this subject by leaving a comment below or on Facebook. I know most people just want to have a look and duck out unnoticed and that is fine too. I hope you are off to do something fun and relaxing - maybe do some of your own drawings?

The West Coast Rainforest - Long Beach

Ink on Paper

Not Available for sale

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2009

While I may seem fairly light-hearted about this, I want to acknowledge that there are millions of people around the world who struggle in every hour of every day just to survive and if those of us who have so much shared just a bit with someone else, we could ease their path a great deal and perhaps allow them to stop and breathe one day without having to worry all the time. There is always more we can do for others and this can be a down time thing too. Read to someone who can't read for themselves anymore. Bring someone a treat. Make a donation if you can. Share your beautiful gifts with another person - for we are one and we are greater together than apart.

The Wave

Oil Pastel and Mineral Oil on Paper

8 x 10

Gillian Cornwall, c. 1988

Available

Thanks for stopping by and having a read. I hope you enjoyed it. I love sharing with each of you and send you love and blessings for a peaceful and joyous day. Know that wherever you are, whatever you are doing, someone out here is thinking of you and wishing you the very best of life. Never give up. Walk your path with your head held high and feel the simple joy of the sun on your face when it does shine.

-Gillian Cornwall, re-posted September 11, 2016

c. November 2, 2014

Expectations

 

Boadicea, The Warrior Queen - City of Westminster, England

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

I am re-posting an edited version of the original. It's timely and I think it is something to which we can all relate and take opportunity to re-shape in our lives. 

So, "Expectations meet Joy and Desire; now could the three of you all try to get along?"

Why the blazes am I heading down this path on an otherwise peaceful Sunday morning? Well, I am heading down this path because it came to me and because I believe I can offer some peaceful thoughts on the subject.

It seems to me that expectations are kind of tied up with opinions. We have our own, which may or may not have been influenced by our parents, our history, our spouse, media and so on. We also have the expectations and opinions that come to us quite directly in the now, like missiles.

I've been thinking about the height, depth and breadth of my self-expectations and how often I place them onto others. I am ridiculous for doing this. How many times do I talk about all of us walking our own paths in our own ways? Hypocrisy! Hypocrisy! 

Oh well, I am pleased to discover this about myself. As I continue to unpack it, I realize that my high self-expectations were seeded in my childhood. My understanding of one of my parents was that it was imperative to succeed - that there was no room for accident nor failure. Accident and failure resulted in anger, discipline and those, oh so awful, looks of disappointment. How could I not carry those expectations forward into my adulthood when they were as deep in my being as grain is to oak. The wonderful thing is that when we grow up, if we take the time to look at this stuff, with or without the help of psychology professionals, we get to untie the net and make it into something that fits us now or cast it off entirely. 

We have the opportunity to re-frame expectations as goals - if we wish. We have the capacity to try, to fail, to learn and grow. We have the capacity to acknowledge the same need in those who surround us. I would guess that everyone has felt like a failure in front of someone and, I know from personal experience, it is a wonderful feeling when someone stands by you through your errors and says, "Hey, it's okay. You can do it again. I'm here and I love you whether you succeed this time or whether you need to try again." 

What is horrific is to create expectations of someone and then systematically peel away their tools and set up barriers to their success. If you are in that situation, you are best to trade in your chips and leave the table for a gamble with better odds. Some people aren't able to be direct or clear and will set you up for failure because it is the only path they can handle for themselves. Remember that this is likely not about you; rather, someone's inability to engage safely and kindly in difficult conversations. 

Try to remember, it is the path and not the destination. It is the relationships and the journey that make up the food of our lives. Whenever we reach the end of the road, do we want to be thinking, "Darn it, I wish I had done more - I wish I had at least tried"? Have fun on the journey. Don't worry too much if something breaks or fails. Just learn from it and move on. We are all perfect in our paths as long as we proceed at whatever speed and in whatever way works for us. Unless you are a surgeon ...hmm, maybe get good at it first, really good, and then try. I do not envy them their need for absolute accuracy. I am sure there are other situations and careers to which this applies - automotive brake repair perhaps?

Enjoy the journey as best you can, my peeps. I really don't know if we get another crack at this whole life thing, but I'm not much of a gambler and, lately, my body and soul are far too eroded by those who are filled with fear (including myself at times) pushing me down and holding me down to drown. 

I am resurfacing, slowly, for harm has made me weak, but arise I will, as sure as the sun to another day. There may be clouds; it may be raining, but I am still here and I will continue to rise as long as there is breath in my lungs and a beat in my heart.  Is that not enough to expect of any of us, after all?

-Gillian Cornwall, c. April 17, 2016

Nelson, atop his column, Trafalgar Square, UK

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2016

Choice

Shipwreck Beach - Lana'i, Hawaii

Gillian Cornwall, c. December 2006.

I am re-posting this article from 2014 as the concept of choice has been at the forefront of my mind. I watch as people struggle with their environment, finding it does not fit their needs and feeling unable to change it to be the way they want within the timeframe they want or need. I get this. It is frustrating to watch something and wish it were different - whether it is our job, our relationship or anything really. The fact is, we have choice. Everyday, I revisit the major players in my life and I make a choice:

• Relationships: I make an active choice in my relationships. I choose to spend time with people or not to spend time with them and I am blessed with the incredible people surrounding me. We lift one another up and light the path for each other. We bring things to the table to share and learn and grow.
• Work: Some days are good and some days aren't. Sometimes I am frustrated with the glacial pace of change, but everyday I weigh it out and choose to be there or not be there. No-one is forcing me to stay. I choose it.
• Lifestyle: I choose what I eat everyday (some days it might be donuts and whiskey and other days it might be salad and water). I'm a grown-up. I choose and accept the consequences. I choose to exercise or not exercise to the best of my abilities and in the ways that best suit my level of ability. I choose.

The systems surrounding the way I would like to live don't always fit my difference from mainstream society and so I work within the laws and systems to facilitate positive change. It takes time. Sometimes there is a price. Sometimes the price has been high, but I choose whether or not to stop or continue.

Autonomy.

Choice. 

Most of the time we have choice in one form or another. Sometimes we say we don't have it when we don't want to make a difficult one. Sometimes, it is taken from us and we can only make choices about how we handle an imposed situation. 

For instance, if our freedom is taken from us and we are held captive, we can only choose the impact of that captivity. What freedoms can be found within the mind when the body is held?

Too often in my past, I have held to choices made for me by others when I was a child or those I made for myself that no longer fit. Historically, I believed myself to be trapped. I have grown more autonomous with age, more capable of changing that which no longer fits. I am capable of moving forward with less fear of loss or change. 

The unknown is probably the most terrifying thing for people to face: "What will happen if...?" 

Having been without a home in my past, seeing all manner of relationships come and go, experiencing a variety of careers, holding creatures (both two-legged and four) in my arms while they pass from this life and choosing immense changes in how I live my everyday life, I have less fear of the impact of change, regardless of the kind of choice that occurred around that change. 

A downside to choosing a life with less fear of change can be isolation - not finding like-minded folks with whom to go through life. Trust me, it's not that I don't think about what would happen if my job were taken from me or if someone I cared about passed away, rather that somewhere, deep in my cellular make-up, I know I will not only survive, but I will flourish because I choose life, truth and love over fear. When all is said and done, I will not succumb to fear. I won't let it be a self-imposed shackle to wear through my days.

Our experiences and creations all stem from how we choose to live our lives. I need to remind myself regularly that a life lived fully is the greatest life lived. I don't want to regret not saying "I love you," not taking that adventure or not speaking my truth in the face of equity and human rights or sustainability issues.

My wish is for all of us to live well, to live big, to live with an abundance of joy, love, peace and experience so 'take a deep breath and smile' (as one of my dear friends says!) and enjoy your day, with love. 

-Gillian Cornwall, edited / re-post: c. February 21, 2016

Original post: c. April 13, 2014

How deep can you go? - Protection Island, BC

Gillian Cornwall, Summer 2015

The Blank Slate

Toward the Mainland

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

Imagine you have been writing for as long as you can remember and you sit down to write what is usually a well thought-out post and, not only have you not prepared anything during the previous week, you are simply drawing a blank. Your mind is a snow drift in January in Northern Ontario where not even a bird has set down his tender tootsie to leave his mark of passing - a glistening, empty snow canvas - cold, fresh, untouched. Yep. That's about where I am at as I sit down this morning. 

So... I think, well that's about right, isn't it? It's a new year. Is this not a time to open our minds and hearts to possibility, to that which we may never have considered as possible or desirous? Opportunity. Passion. Desire. Freedom. All of these stirred up with some good old fashioned common sense. What does the world hold for us today? What do we need? What do we have to give away and what do we have to sell? What do we want our lives to look like and how do we achieve our goals? 

I have decided upon these considerations for myself as I approach the new year. I hope they will be useful for you too:

1. Be gentle and kind with yourself and others. Remember we are all on different paths and judgement of another will only set you back on your own.

2. Be open and fluid. Let your energy, as love, continue to flow through you and out from you because when you hold too tightly, things break or slip away. When you maintain the flow, you will always be full, for love, as energy, is like a mountain spring and will rise in you again as you release it to the world.

3. Do not let fear rule your heart and head unless you are walking down a path in the woods and a cougar jumps out at you...

4. Engage with the new - new people, new activities, new places. Explore the world beyond your usual boundaries. We are all connected. It's okay. 

5. Enjoy your clean slate - your fresh, unsullied snow bank. Fall into it face first or stand and stare at the canvas until you are moved to action. This is your time and space to live well. 

I wish each of you every joy, passion and wonder for the new year. May your hardships be few and may you be well-supported through them. May your wonders be plentiful and may you allow space for them to refill and restore you. Thank you for your love and kindness and friendship. 

-Gillian Cornwall, c. January 3, 2016

Winter Wonderland, Victoria BC

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2011

Thank You

Glastonbury Abbey

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

We all do things. We are each independent beings, doing things, but it is all so much yelling into the wind unless there is someone to see us do it, hear us do it or feel our hearts as we do it; however; physical presence is not in the least bit necessary for the acknowledgement of the existence of our acts and thoughts as we are all unique parts of the one universal energy force. 

When I consider my blog, I am honoured and amazed by the expansive readership. There are so many of you I have never met in person and yet, with some of you, I have built a connection as strong as that of the deepest, lifelong friendships. There are those of you who have messaged my through some of my most difficult and darkest times, those of you with whom I seem to check in quite regularly - just for a sweet, "Hello! How are you?" There are those of you I was able to meet this year on my overseas voyage whom I had only known through social media for several years. 

The point is, what a magical web we have - both on line and through the interconnectedness of our energy force! With each of our creations through thought and action, we change our world and we choose the nature of our energy behind those creations. We often choose our state of anger, frustration, fear, sadness and joy and support. Let us not forget here, the many who cope with physical and / or mental illness - those for whom the choice does not exist without great work, care and medication. This in itself is a good reminder that we can choose compassion and helpfulness before judgement. We can also lift one another up for our difference, our difficulties and celebrate one another for our capacity to endure, to carry on, to teach the state of grace through hardship and loss that so easily eludes us at times. 

In all things, we make a choice on the path we take. We choose how we will cope through our difficulties and the difficulties of others. Remember those Four Agreements and the words of Oprah Winfrey:

"I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common -- they all wanted validation. ... They want to know, do you hear me? Do you see me? Does what I say mean anything to you?"

These are the things that keep my hand on the tiller and the ship on course. 

Oh, don't get me wrong! I go astray regularly. Windows 10 brings out the very worst in me and computer problems send my blood pressure through the roof. Being treated as "less than" for my sexual orientation, my (absence of) gender identity and speaking my truth in my workplace sends me right 'round the twist. I can become tired, frustrated and completely depleted ...as some of you may remember before I went to my UK homeland to restore myself this year.

In these difficult times, it has been you - all of you who chose to see, to reach out, to assist. You are my light and my gratitude is immeasurable and there are way too many of you to even start a list because I would inevitably exclude someone. In fact, it truly is each of you because we are one and each of you, with your unique energetic signal, holds me up when I am down, holds up a mirror for me so I may better see the path I am taking and where I may need to adjust my direction. Each of you is a gift to me and a gift to one another. How many of us shall cross paths in this life and never know we have done so? How many of us never know the impact we have made upon one another? We change the world through a passing smile, a shout out in social media - through that, "Hello. I see you and you matter to me." 

I thank you, each of you, as this year draws to a close, because you all mean so much to me. I am grateful for the fact that you take the time to read my words, that you share them with others, that you take the time to comment, that you inspire me to be better. I am grateful for your very existence, for the intimate thoughts you have shared. For those of you who don't comment nor interact - I am grateful to you for taking the time to be present here and I hope the work brings something useful to you. 

As 2015 ends, I truly want you to know that you are loved, that you are unique and essential and that there is hope and opportunity to enjoy the gift of life in the simple things: the sound of a bee buzzing in the flowers, collecting pollen to make honey, a wee plant pushing through the pavement and reaching for the sun, the glistening of a grain of sand or a thirst-quenching drink of water. 

Let us remember those around the world who cannot see this and send them what we can - love, money, resource - a helping hand, for if we are reading this, we have more than many others who live every day focused only on survival, without the luxury of introspection on a better life because they focus 100% of their energy on simply staying alive.

May each of you find joy, peace, love and contentment in life and thank you so much for your light. 

In gratitude, 

-Gillian Cornwall, c. December 27, 2015

The Ancient Plane Tree - University of Oxford

"All of us need support over the years..."

Gillian Cornwall, c. September, 2015

 A glorious garden in Stow on the Wold
Gillian Cornwall, c. September, 2015

Comfort and Joy

Christmas Time

Gillian Cornwall, c. December 2010

Christmas time, I lay under the tree staring up through the boughs and inhaling the fresh, outdoor scent of the scotch pine, my eyes blurring with the mystery in the strings of painted bulbs of blue and orange and green and red. The delicate, sparkling, colourful ornaments of an impossibly thin glass dangled precariously from the ends of the branches and the stretch of golden garland was carefully wound around the circumference of the tree from the angel atop to the bottom boughs. The whole process was completed by my brothers and me, as strings of silver, tinsel icicles were artfully tossed on select branches. We tried to keep these out of reach of Sarah, our Siamese cat, lest she ingest them in some sort of untimely, seasonal attempt at her own demise. Occasionally, we found evidence of her tinsel snacking in sparkling litter box parcels. 

Back under the tree, I lay pyjama-clad and lost in the magic of the season - small enough that this tree land was a fort unto itself. For a day, perhaps even more, there would be peace and I would be lost in a world where kindness prevailed amid the songs of the season played on our Zenith High Fidelity Stereo System. This was a world of reindeer and Santa Claus, surrounded by mysterious packages wrapped in paper depicting dreamworlds of sleighs and horses, snowmen and silver bells, snowflakes and stockings spilling over with treats. 

May it always be a time to rest, to spend in loving kindness with those for whom we are grateful and may the scent of a fresh forest or a string of sparkling lights always be enough to bring you comfort and joy. 

With gratitude to each of you, for your love, your kindness, and your willingness to get up every day and do your best through good times and bad. You are loved and I am blessed for all the wonder you share - simply through your desire to live with love and kindness. Plant yourself in healthy, clean soil and grow with strong, solid roots; reach for the sky and the light with every sunrise.

May every one of you share comfort and joy this season and every wish for a happy and healthy new year. 

-Gillian Cornwall, Re-posted on December 13, 2015

Original Post, c. December 22, 2013

 The Christmas Tree at Uptown

Gillian Cornwall, c. December 2015

Merry Christmas for the Victoria BC Santa Parade

Gillian Cornwall, c. December 2015

Myriad Momentous Moments

Apple Orchard for the Ancient Cidery at Glastonbury Abbey

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

Recently, with increasing conviction, I feel as though I have won life's lottery in the form of myriad momentous moments. These are of the greatest value and have zero potential for depreciation. 

Certainly, living in the present was rather easy to accomplish while away in the UK and, as I wrote last week, I have chosen not to return to my old routine, rather I have engaged on a clearer path with a propensity for positive thought. I am astounded by the revolutionary, full circle delight of being present and accounted for in each moment of my life without apology for what those moments bring to me and wash away, like a perfect tidal treasure. 

The very definition of the word, momentous, indicates to me that each and every moment is momentous because each and every moment impacts all of time and space by what occurs within it. How we behave with ourselves and one another in each of these moments has a ripple effect throughout time. 

Do you know the expression, 'you can't unring a bell'? Well, that applies to each of our moments, as they careen outwards from us and inwards towards us throughout time, as inextricable from us as our own heartbeats. So, live well in each of your momentous moments and share them with gratitude. Being kind to one another now will help with the creation of a future of kindness. 

Savour your moments of joy, passion, heartache, despair, loss and love, for each one surely means we have the gift of life within us. 

-Gillian Cornwall, c. October 25, 2015

A cottage garden - Stow on the Wold, England

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

Patience

The Clematis

c. Gillian Cornwall - May, 2014

...it's a virtue right? patience? 

Once again I think I fall short of virtue. I can't even type the word without typing 'virture' instead." Morally good behaviour or character" - that's the definition of virtue but let's get back to patience before mine wears thin.

Patient: Google dictionary says: able to accept or tolerate delays, problems or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious" 

It's official - I'm not always patient. 

So when do we go from being patient to being hoodwinked? There have been times in my life when I believe I am being patient but, really, I am allowing myself to be victim to the lack of willingness of another person to try or even acknowledge that their incapacity to grow or change is eroding the life of another.

Our patience is put on trial in all aspects of our world - at work, at school, at home. The fact is, our patience is not a stationary border around us, rather a fluid line depending on with whom we are dealing and what we believe to be at stake.

I follow The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz in all areas of my life but as I face new challenges, I find I need to reintegrate these principles. For those of you not familiar with these agreements, they are with oneself, and they go as follows:

1. Be impeccable with your word (think before you speak and remember that words, once spoken, cannot be unsaid)

2. Don't take things personally (most of what people do has nothing to do with you and everything to do with themselves)

3. Don't make assumptions (we all play tapes in our heads and have specific ones that we haul out when someone says or doesn't say (or do) something that hurts us - ASK! It's the only way to determine a person's intent. They won't always tell you but it puts the onus back on them to own their words, feelings and behaviours)

4. Do your best (Some days your best will be amazing and, well, other days it won't be...and that's okay. Welcome to the human race.)

So 'what the blazes does this have to do with patience?' you ask. Well, really, for me, these agreements put the work and decisions back on me. I can be as patient or as impatient as I choose in each circumstance and it will be on me to deal with the consequences of my choices. I would like to learn to err on the side of more patience than may be needed or warranted but, unfortunately, sometimes I lose it before I get to the 'more' place.... 

I am a fast thinker, a problem solver and a solution maker. I find it difficult to work with slow processors and those who don't vocalize their process, rather blurt their conclusions once reached. I'm certain my way irritates the heck out of some people. I am not very true to my 'stiff upper lip' cultural roots in this regard. I think part of the reason is that I was silenced and ridiculed by some keys folks in my childhood and now, I won't have it. Unfortunately, this has meant that I release my entire process to the world and they can find themselves taken down a highway to hell and back with me until I come to a conclusion which is far less dramatic and simple than the process warranted. Why anyone puts up with me, at times, I don't know. I guess I have some redeeming factors. 

So what is it I'm trying to say? The thing is, this life is a journey and there is no perfect ending or solution, so walk your paths and hold your heads up. Pay attention. Listen and watch along the way. Try to be kind and, yes, try to be patient, but be true to yourself as well. Watch. Listen. Act. Learn. Repeat. Enjoy yourself as much as you can along the way. 

For those of you who have felt victim to impatience - mine or another person's - I am sorry. We are all works in progress. I wish each of us joy, peace, love, light and kindness. I wish us the kind of self-actualization that makes us glow, that connects us to the greater universal energy. Once we find a way to walk our paths interconnected, we will realize our eternal impact and, hopefully, live a life of goodness, wealth of spirit and joy in our connection to life's eternal energy - the one constant to which we can offer a nod and a smile. Here's to energy!

-Gillian Cornwall, c. July 13, 2014.

Waikiki Sunset

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2006