Stop. Go. Reset.
Gillian Cornwall, c. Summer 2015
- we create them,
- we respect them,
- we cross them,
- we defend them,
- we change them and
- we tear them down.
Boundaries can be cultural, physical, mental, social, spiritual, environmental, imposed or democratically developed - well, they are just all over the place really, aren't they?
I have some and I feel good about that. I am learning how to create them and how to be okay with changing them. I try to exercise them with self-care and with kindness. Others will say I do not and that is their opinion. I am learning and growing and doing my best and that is okay.
I have had to set boundaries in all kinds of places. In my personal life, it is easier than my professional. I am getting better at not being bullied into crossing my own to appease someone else. I will do my best to act with care and trust myself and those to whom I turn for support and advice on my path.
I realize as I age, my views change - maybe because I am more open to listening to others but, along with that, I have changed in that I will not let the loudest or most unkind voice move me beyond my boundary or belief just to settle the storm. This means that sometimes I set boundaries that keep me from certain people and places because I do not feel safe in their presence. While this is unfortunate, I am still acting with choice. I am choosing my personal safety and comfort. I believe that is all I can control - me, my space, my behaviour. I cannot control the opinions, voices or aggressions of others.
At the risk of being dull (as I have posted about these frequently), I consider my setting and changing of boundaries around The Four Agreements as written by Don Miguel Ruiz:
- Be impeccable with your word
- Don't take anything personally
- Don't make assumptions
- Always do your best
While I am still working on all of these, I have most trouble with the second. Perhaps this means I have a hyperactive ego - not sure; nonetheless, we are all works in progress. None of us ever finishes our learning and growing.
As we head into a season which speaks of love, joy and kindness, may we all set and review our boundaries with good hearts. May we all try for our best selves.
-Gillian Cornwall, c. November 29, 2015
Reaching for the light
Gillian Cornwall, c. 2015