Choice

Shipwreck Beach - Lana'i, Hawaii

Gillian Cornwall, c. December 2006.

Choice. Most of the time, we have it in one form or another. Sometimes, we say we don't have it when we don't want to make a difficult choice. Sometimes, it is taken from us and we can only make choices about how we handle an imposed situation. 

For instance, if our freedom is taken from us and we are held captive, we can only choose the impact of that captivity. What freedoms can be found within the mind when the body is held?

Too often in my past, I have held to choices made for me by others or those I made for myself that no longer fit. Historically, I believed myself to be trapped. Now, I have grown more autonomous with age, more capable of changing what no longer fits. I am capable of moving forward with less fear of loss or change. 

The unknown is probably the most terrifying thing for people to face: "What will happen if...?" 

I guess, having been without a home in my past, seeing all manner of relationships come and go, experiencing a variety of careers, holding creatures (both two-legged and four) in my arms while they pass from this life and choosing immense changes in how I live my everyday life, I have less fear of the impact of change, regardless of the kind of choice that occurred around that change. 

A downside to choosing a life with less fear of change can be isolation - not finding like-minded folks with whom to go through life. Trust me, it's not that I don't think about what would happen if my job were taken from me or if someone I cared about passed away, but rather that somewhere, deep in my cellular make-up, I know I will not only survive, but I will flourish because I choose life, truth and love over fear. When all is said and done, I will not succumb to fear. I won't let it be a self-imposed shackle to wear through my days.

For those of you who read my blog weekly, first of all - thank you! Secondly, I know you must sometimes wonder if I am a bit dim or if I don't realize that most of my posts have a similar theme and why the blazes I call it Gillian's Art Blog - what the heck does fear have to do with art? Well, partly it's because I have had this blog since 2005 and I want folks to be able to find it easily and I feel that there is no greater art than how we choose to live. Our experiences and creations all stem from how we choose to live our lives. Thirdly and selfishly, I need to remind myself regularly that a life lived fully is the greatest life lived. I don't want to regret not saying "I love you", not taking that adventure or not holding my ground in the face of equity and human rights or sustainability issues.

My wish is for all of us to live well, to live big, to live with an abundance of joy, love, peace and experience so 'take a deep breath and smile' (as one of my dear friends says!) and enjoy your day, with love. 

-Gillian Cornwall, c. April 13, 2014

Gumby and Pokey - Victoria BC

Gillian Cornwall, c. December 2006.