LOVE. What is it?

Fernwood Painted Power Poles

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2014

Ah love, amour, the passion of the heart! Odes are written to it, people die for it, statues and edifices are built to it, but what the blazes is it actually and why is it causing such a kerfuffle?

Is it what happens between the sheets?

Gumby and Pokey - cuddling ...that is all.

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2012

Is it a feeling like you have gone to heaven because someone makes you feel all funny inside?

Mount Baker on a Summer Day

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2012

Is it a walk with someone on a Spring day, thinking of all the wonders you have shared and will share, today and ever more?

Spring in Victoria, Finnerty Gardens, UVic, BC

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2011

LOVE.
What is it, anyway?

All I have is this, in whatever state of togetherness or separateness from another human:

Love is energy. It is the energy that is constant, just as in physics. It is an energy that cannot be taken away. It may change along the way. It may shift from one way of being to another but it is eternal regardless of its form.

If we think of love as energy, as the energy of the universe flowing through us and all around us, then perhaps we can let go of fear a little. Perhaps we can breathe more deeply (for holding tightly serves no-one) and let love, energy, flow through us freely. In this way, like a fresh spring, we will always be full. There will always be enough. We will have nothing to lose.

Let us be brave. Let us love freely and kindly without holding. As far as people go, if we truly love someone, we must be brave when they need to go and wish them luck on their paths. Love means we want others to be happy. We want them to follow their dreams and sometimes that means letting go of the physical connection and letting their energy continue to flow through our hearts. It does not mean there is no longer love between the two, it only means that energy has shifted and changed shape. In this, there is no real loss.

Fine for me to say! I know, I'm no expert. Have I hurt when someone has left? Heck, yes! What helped? -realizing that they weren't leaving me; they were just leaving. We cannot take on the actions of others; we can only control our own actions and reactions. Do we love only as a result of someone loving us or is it something we choose to give freely, without expectation, without holding? That is for each of us to decide as we walk our own paths.

May you love in some way in every day. May your love expand your heart rather than cause it pain and depletion. May we all hold hands around the world, for many threads woven together make strong cloth.

-Gillian Cornwall, Edit and re-post August 14, 2016

c. February 15, 2015

Bamboo, Finnerty Gardens, University of Victoria

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2012

"Bamboo is flexible, bending with the wind but never breaking, capable of adapting to any circumstance. It suggests resilience, meaning that we have the ability to bounce back, even from the most difficult times.... Your ability to thrive, depends, in the end, on your attitude to life circumstances. Take everything in stride with grace, putting forth energy when it is needed, yet always staying calm inwardly."
~ Ping Fu, Author of Bend, Not break: A Life in Two Worlds

Mothers and Our Other Mother Mothers

 

My Mother, EA Jay c. 1943-44

Photographer unknown

One thing we all have in common (among the many things we all have in common), is that every single one of us, all living things, have had a mother who brought us forth into this world. Those lucky enough, were raised by them in loving, caring, supportive homes by women (and men) who taught them how to be kind, loving, supportive people in turn. 

Today, I want to talk about another kind of mother: the other mother. There are so many of you out there: stepmothers, godmothers, foster mothers and women who just stepped up to love and care for us when those of us who lost our birth mothers along the way needed a mother's love to get through something, or to support us, or congratulate us on our successes and comfort us in our losses. Today, I salute you and thank you for all you have given - selflessly and without asking for anything in return.

I had a second mum when I lived on Salt Spring Island. Her name is Jay and she cared for me when I was a bit lost. She housed me, fed me and showed me the unconditional love that only a mother can. I am grateful to you, Jay. Thank you for reminding me about unconditional love and about giving because you can. I did some healing in your care and in your home. I am eternally grateful. Also, I had the most amazing godmother, Mary Woodburn, who taught me so much about unconditional love and freedom of spirit. I am a much better person for the love of these two women and for many others along the way who taught me the lessons that a mother teaches.

So, to all of you out there who have been a mother to someone, for a day or for a lifetime, I salute you and thank you for giving that very particular kind of love. Please know that you have made the world a kinder, safer and more peaceful place because of your actions. My gratitude to each of you for caring for the children of the great mother, Earth, who I celebrate on this day for her love and sustenance of all of us. Please be kind to her and care for her now and always so that she may continue to love and provide for generations to come.

For those of you who have recently lost your mothers, my heart goes out to you in your loss. Talk to her today anyway - tell her what is in your heart and go out and give love to another. This will help to heal the pain in your heart. 

To my mother, Eunice Audrey Jay, thank you for my life and for caring for me. I learned so much from you, from the lessons of your life and your love of the arts and culture. I wish I had known you longer. I have learned from your strength. I send you love and I wish you eternal peace and joy.

Here is a link to some ideas to think beyond our own mother's today:
http://www.upworthy.com/how-we-can-think-beyond-just-our-own-moms-on-mothers-day?c=ufb1 

-Gillian Cornwall, c. May 10, 2015