Hello, Trouble!

The Wave

Oil Pastel on Paper 

Approx. 8" x 10"

By Gillian E. Cornwall - c. 1988

"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are."

-Benjamin Franklin

This re-post comes with an invitation to everyone to attend the free Provost's Diversity Research Forum at the University of Victoria on January 21 and 22, 2016. This year's forum is entitled Critical Conversations: Reconciliation and Resurgence. There are opportunities to view the events on Thursday evening (PST) and Friday morning sessions via web live feed. Check out in-person registration if you are on or near Vancouver Island or world wide viewing options at: http://www.uvic.ca/diversityforum/. I volunteer on the committee for this event and have found the conference to be filled with brilliant, sentient beings, valuable learning and cutting edge research - each and every time. 

I am putting this personal piece up again because I believe it is timely for me and, I hope, brings some value and understanding to you: 

"Hello, Trouble!" "Here comes trouble!"

I am greeted in this way, on average, 3 times a week at work and elsewhere and it tends to frustrate me. I think those using the term, use it in a cajoling or endearing way and by no means intend for it to be harmful. I think some see me as different from most women of my age and do not know how to interact with me because of it. I suppose I could be honoured that people are imbuing me with such great power - that I have the capacity to create trouble and, potentially, leave chaos in my wake. 

Then, I think of the term, "trouble the water. " I was reminded of it last week, during a meeting, when a colleague used the term. I liked it and have had it roiling in my mind since. There is an African American spiritual song, with Christian biblical implications, and it goes as such:

"Wade in the water,

Wade in the water children

Wade in the water

Don't you know that

God's gonna trouble the water

Don't you know that

God's gonna trouble the water"

I believe the phrase arises from this biblical reference: 

John 5:4 - "For an angel went down at a certain season into the pool and troubled the water: whosoever then first after the troubling of the water stepped in was made whole of whatsoever disease he had."

So, perhaps someone who is referred to as trouble, challenges, allows for cleansing, healing and forward motion. I could go with that.... I certainly know some earth angels who trouble the waters in their quest to share peace and love. 

Unfortunately, the folks using the term "trouble", in reference to me, do not consider the workplace implications of being seen by those in authority as "trouble". Talk about a career stopper. So, have I been trouble over the years? Have I stirred the waters? I suppose so. Why? I have not been appreciative of anti-racial slurs. I didn't like hearing the term "homo" or "I think you are in the wrong washroom" and, from straight women with whom I have worked in the past,  "I know you'd like to be closer to me right now" or, having a woman flash her breasts at me (thinking I would enjoy it!) and those who make make lurid comments speculating on my lifestyle. I haven't enjoyed being treated as "other" by both males and females based on my sexual and (absence of) gender orientation and I certainly wouldn't enjoy being passed over for employment opportunities because of being thought of as "trouble". Do I know definitively that this has happened? No. How could I know? How would I prove such a thing?

If I am trouble, is it because you have named me so rather than because I have set out to be so? Have I set out to stir the waters rather than acquiesce to the silence in order to remain safer? Do I have to run twice as fast as everyone else just to keep up? These questions are all worthy of consideration.

Do I have to worry about posting this? Will it make it worse for me? I know some of you are thinking, "Oh, here she goes again! We are so tired of hearing about it..." I am tired too - way too tired to be trouble. I just want to go home, watch Netflix and have a nice cup of tea. Can I afford to stop pointing at the elephant in the room? We are all equal now - right? No harm, no foul? ....hmm. What do you think?

"Hello kind person." "Hello champion for human rights and equity!" 

Please don't let your fear be my trouble anymore. 

With love, kindness and the continuing quest for peace.

-Gillian Cornwall, Re-posted January 17, 2016

Originally posted, July 20, 2014

Heart on a Telephone Pole

-spreading love down the line

Photo: Gillian Cornwall, c. 2014

We Are One

The Olympic Range from Victoria BC

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2012

"We are one." We've all heard the expression, but what does it mean? Who are "we" and what is the "one" to which we all belong? 

I think about this frequently because I often feel on the outside of a group - whatever group happens to be "grouping" at a particular moment. As I grew up, I hid myself away as much as possible through the days and nights in the interest of personal safety. I had things taken from me that should never be taken from anyone - ever. So, in the beginning, as it were, in my beginning, I learned to separate myself in the interest of my own well-being. I isolated myself for self-protection. Maybe that is one of the reasons I feel on the outs at times, but I don't think it is the only factor.

Let's talk about "difference" for a minute and how we, as a society, feel about it. I believe that there is a shift to greater acceptance of difference, that the inter-connectivity of the world through technology, new media and social media is bringing us together. A similar occurrence happened in the nineteen-sixties through music. Those who want peace, love, understanding and respect are finding one another and holding hands around the world. Unfortunately, it appears that those who are seeped in fear and violence are finding one another and joining leagues as well. I suppose, as I have said before, we all want to see a reflection of ourselves in others and it is this that gives us a sense of belonging.

So how does diversity, the actual celebration of difference, beyond mere acceptance, come into play if all we are looking for is the reflection of ourselves in others? Do we believe that we have it all figured out and if we find others who think as we do, that the world will be a better place ...for us? I laugh at myself when I think of how many times I feel joy when my opinions are reflected back at me by another.

Perhaps, if we can learn to celebrate difference, to see difference as the key to the excellence of life (not just human, but ALL life), then the planet may thrive after all. 

If we can get past worrying about difference: "less than me / more than me / different than me" and rejoice in the wonder of difference, then we will be able to truly say, "we are one" and understand it and mean it. 

I believe that all things are one - we are all integral in our essential energy to this "one", the one we cannot actually see, describe or pin down, the "one" that is beyond our imagination. I believe I am one with the ocean, the rivers and the streams, the rocks and the trees, the air and the ants and the stars and fire. I believe I am one with you. When you hurt, I hurt. When you cry, I feel it. When you rejoice, I rejoice. Each one of my cells knows this and functions on this very premise, but it is the conscious mind, the capacity to reason, that can fail to be reasonable. It is this thinking capacity that, at times, takes away our ability to remember, on a cellular level that, above all, we are one. 

Having just come out of a two day diversity research forum at my place of work, I am full of thoughts and ideas around diversity and inclusion. Many great minds came together on campus: professors, students, staff and community. I learned from everyone, from the prayers of the elders and the words of my fellow attendees. One might expect a stodgy, pedagogical approach to this type of event in an institution of higher learning; however, all minds spoke, respect was shared and people listened to one another. What saddens me, is that there were not more people present for this free event. Some do not see it as integral to the success of the school and the excellence toward which we strive. People believe that they are too busy, but it is an opportunity such as this that expands one's time, teaches greatest lessons and teaches that we are not alone in our process. These discussions are as important as the files on our desks. On the upside, we had a great in-person attendance and had people participating through social media and live feed, tweeting into the conference from as far away as Australia. Hands around the world! 

Thank you to everyone who comes here to read and think about how we can all do better in the Art of Life, how we can all retain our uniqueness within our oneness and how we can find excellence through love.

The quotation we used for the forum speaks to me, as it has to many over the centuries:

"Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all."

Aristotle

-Gillian Cornwall, c. February 1, 2015.

 The Yellow Rose - Maple Bay, BC

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2012

The Lavender Field - Maple Bay, BC

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2012