The Power of Care

Riding the British Railway and Minding My Gaps

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

Blood

The quiet, persistent strength of my English cousin

Personal power without apology

and so it should be.

Greater than the works of Blake 

or any art that man can make.

She breathes on through storms

bigger than The Tempest born

with peaceful, treasured moments

after hurricanes and all the harms

oft this world has deemed the norm.

The Power of Care is an immeasurable thing and not one I would choose to drift by without mention. Before I left for the UK, I was a depleted soul - eroded by the tides of time and the "thousand natural (and unnatural) shocks that flesh is heir to".... I wrote to my cousin saying that I needed to come home, to be with my blood, to restore myself in a safe and peaceful place. She provided all of that for me and more. Some time had passed since I was able to simply be, to let go, to not have to take care of anything and to have the space created where someone took care of me.

The healing that can take place when someone is caring for your basic needs: clean clothes, food, transportation ....wine :-) - it's astounding. It really gives you time to be, to recover. I think a big part is being able to let go and feel safe in doing so. My cousin restored this art work that is my life, my being, and for that I am eternally grateful. 

I don't think we HAVE to go away to allow ourselves this space for healing and restoration, though it is an asset and a privilege of which I am completely aware. For me, breaking with routine in time, place and people was essential to the shifting of thought and the remapping of a way forward. Additionally, it was mildly terrifying because flying half way around the world to be with someone I hadn't seen for three decades, others I had never met - and to completely break with routine - well, it takes a bit of letting go. 

...and it was good. 

I want to say too, that there were many others on this journey who aided in my healing - some of you may not even realize it. From Gabby and the team at the Contini Cannonball Restaurant in Edinburgh who made me feel so incredibly special on the evening of my dinner there, to the teams at The Roxburghe Hotel in Edinburgh and The Royal York Hotel in York who made my stays beyond comfortable and into the realm of epic, lifetime memories, to my friends in the Cotswolds who included me in their family reunion in order to give me the chance to learn about Richard, my mum's wartime fiance, to my dear friend, talented artist and best selling author, Sheila Jeffries who has an unfathomable healing capacity through her extraordinary ability to love and share her heart and mind. Thanks to Battels Arts Cafe for buying us our tea after hearing the story my cousin and I shared. Thanks to Marc for the use of his amazing condo in Canary Wharf. Thanks to the river boat captain on the Thames who shared the history of the river from his heart with such humour and passion. Thanks to Trish and Susannah for inviting me into their hearts and homes. Thanks to all the kind and friendly, hard-working folks on the Transport for London system who helped me find my way around and the fellow at the Canadian Embassy who took time, just to have a chat. Huge thanks to April and Trich who invited me to their homes in Ireland even though I didn't make it to see you this time. I am so deeply moved by your generosity. To everyone whose path I crossed on my own healing path, I am grateful and certain that you have healed me through your kindness. 

When people ask me "What was the favourite part of your trip?," I've tried to pick a place, but all the places were amazing and incomparable. The truth of it is, it was the people and the interactions that stood out as much or more than the places. Even within the great cathedrals of St Paul and York Minster, my awe stands with those who put their life's work into the art and building of the places. It is inevitably the people that bring the places to life, from The Shambles in York to the River Thames, to the Tower of London, to Brighton Pier. 

Hearts. Caring. Giving what we have to freely give of ourselves to one another in order to increase the light of the world - that's the stuff of healing. That is where I am doing my best to live now. It feels like a pretty good place to be and I hope to see you here. 

With gratitude and love to all of you who hold up a light for me when my path grows dim and gratitude for all of you who have the courage to share your difficulties and truth with me. With every action and interaction we form our own future - let us do our best to do it with kindness and compassion.

With love to my cousin for her strength, candour and healing ways. 

-Gillian Cornwall, c. November 1, 2015

The Armour of the Heart

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

Revisiting Routine

 Oxford University, Oxford

Gillian Cornwall, c. September, 2015

I have been back home from my trip to the UK for a week. Some friends have asked me, "So are you back to the old routine yet?"

I have happily replied, "No. I've decided not to return to my routine. It wasn't really working for me and I've been able to adjust my thoughts enough to try something different." 

It's true. Things are different for me since my trip. I'm different since my trip. I walked through so many archways and doorways over the course of the last month, perhaps walking into new ways of being has become my new normal. 

I am not feeling the need to people-please as much as I did and I believe I am more confident in myself. I was suffering somewhat from my own thoughts before I left. I was torn, tired, and frustrated. I didn't like it. I wanted it to be different. I don't think I realized it then, but I wanted to be different with myself. I was afraid to take the long flight because of the physical pain it would cause (back injuries). I was afraid of the unknown - what might happen.

Yep. It hurt, but I did what I need to do to ease the pain as best I could on the flight and I was open with my fellow passengers and the flight crew that I needed to stand as often as I felt necessary and they were all very understanding. Before I left and when I arrived, I was clear with my cousin about my physical limitations and what it meant with respect to what I could or couldn't do. She was very kind to me and I haven't felt so pampered in ages. I am eternally grateful for her care and it helped me find my way.

My experiences on this trip - the people with whom I spent time, walking every day, being on the land amidst the history and among the people who make up my culture - this fed my mind, body, heart and soul. I went to a salon (discussion group in a person's home) where we discussed the power of our own thoughts, our control / lack of control over them and the impact our thinking has on our behaviour. It offered me some insights into my own "routines" and how I might like to take a different approach to my thinking. 

I have no new doctrine, no elevator pitch, no cloud-parting heavenly statement nor blanket solutions and I have no need to lay out a master plan; rather, I have a renewed commitment to being, without apology or need to fit. This is interesting in itself when one considers the propensity to apology in both the British and Canadian cultures. 

Perhaps it is true that when things are no longer working for us, a shift of position or a departure from routine can be revitalizing and offer a new path or perspective on an existing path we choose to travel.

Keep walking. Keep exploring - with your head up and your eyes open. Enjoy the journey without apology. There is a change of season around the next bend. 

With love to each of you on your adventures. 

-Gillian Cornwall, c. October 18, 2015

 Walking my path through Wigginton on a 

tempestuous day.

Gillian Cornwall, c. October, 2015

The Experiential Sweet Spot of Adventure

The View from Fox Road, Wigginton, Herts.

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

There exists a sweet spot on any adventure between independence and companionship, between having an experience on one's own and a shared experience. For me, it's not about whether or not you embark alone but how you interact, and with whom, once the adventure has been undertaken. 

Certainly, there can be times during independent travel when you may wish you were with your best mate and could say, "Wow, can you believe this...?!" Being the kind of person I am, I tend to do that to anyone within earshot if I am on a solo adventure because, chances are, they are experiencing a similar reaction. Hopefully, I don't look like this gargoyle from the Tower of London to whomever it is I am exclaiming:

An ancient face guards the Tower of London

Gillian Cornwall, c. October, 2015

On this most recent adventure to the UK, I had the luxury of time and comfort with friends and family with a wonderful base in my cousin's cottage in Hertfordshire combined with adventures all over on my own or visiting friends. It was all quite perfect for me as I had the autonomy to do and see what was high on my list of priorities and to spend as much time as I liked in this cathedral or that part of London. There is a great deal of advantage in not having to compromise one's limited time. That being said, my friends and family were both very kind in allowing me my flights of fancy when exploring with them - such gracious hosts I had! 

I was driven to Stow on the Wold by kind people I had never before met to spend the day with my dear friends Brough and Sue who were visiting England from Vancouver Island at the same time as I! Thank you Richard and Carolyn.

Childhood Swings at the Family Home - Greenfields, Gloucestershire

Gillian Cornwall, c. September, 2015

My cousin took me to meet her dearest friends and on trips to Waddesdon Manor in Buckinghamshire, Oxford, Harrow on the Hill in the London Borough of Harrow and Hampstead and Highgate in the London Borough of Camden. We also spent time in Berkhamsted, Hemel Hempstead, Brighton, London and Tring. I am sure I am missing some pieces because I still have jet lag and can't think properly but here are some images to fill the gap...

Waddesdon Manor - Previously a Rothschild Property 

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 Me at the church gate for St Mary's Harrow on the Hill

My mum and brother and I had stood here before, many years ago

Photo by Karen Jay, c. September 2015

 Face carved into the bridge over River Cherwell, Magdelen College, University of Oxford

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 Friends of Karen walk us through Hampstead to a lovely tea shop

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 A view of the 2nd floor flat where my aunt and uncle once lived in Hampstead. It's 2nd floor on the right hand side of the shot.

They could have purchased it after the war for around 800 pounds. That was a great deal of money then and they moved away to Hertfordshire. Current value is in the millions of pounds.

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 Karen and me at Burgh House and Hampstead Museum for tea

Photo by Marc Wright, c. September 2015

 View of St Paul's and the Shard from Hampstead Heath

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 This is the pond in Hampstead where my Uncle Edward pushed Oswald Mosley, founder of the British Union of Fascists, into the water during a demonstration/riot. I come by my activism honestly I guess...

Gillian Cornwall, c September 2015

 On the footpath through Wigginton to Wigginton Bottom.

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

 The ever-changing skies from the upstairs view 

in Karen's 250 year old cottage. Amazing.

Gillian Cornwall, c. October, 2015

 The Tring Footpath down Oddy Hill from Wigginton

through Tring Woods

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

My last day with Karen on Brighton Pier, Brighton

GIllian Cornwall, c. October 2015

Beyond all of this, I also went to Somerton and Glastonbury in Somerset to visit my dear friend and earth angel, Sheila. We had been friends through Twitter for 3 years and were finally able to meet in person. This was such a wondrous part of my adventure and I'm ever grateful for having this time together. 

 The view to the old manor house in Somerton - from Sheila's garden

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 In St Michael and All Angels Church in Somerton 

Incredible carved wood ceiling with dragons below

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 The Somerton Butter Cross (rebuilt in 1673) and Market Hall

The stones in the centre of the Butter Cross stay cool all the time 

and keep the butter from melting.

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 Through the arches of the Glastonbury Abbey (opened 712 AD)

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

Sheila and her friend who works at the Abbey

and knew all of its history!

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

I also spent some time on my own on train travel adventures to Edinburgh and York where it was the place AND the people who I met along the way that made me feel so full of joy and wonder!

 The view from Edinburgh Castle

Gillian Cornwall, c. September, 2015

 The Cannonball Restaurant, Royal Mile, Edinburgh

I was made to feel so welcome in this incredible restaurant 

specializing in local, sustainable foods.

A special thank you to Gabby and all the staff!

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 Another view from Edinburgh Castle over the City of Edinburgh to the Firth of Forth (body of water leading to the North Sea)

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 The beautiful eastern coastline from the train

Between Edinburgh, Scotland and Berwick-Upon-Tweed in Northumberland, England

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

Berwick-Upon-Tweed, Northumberland

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

The two front windows of my incredible suite at the Royal York Hotel in York, Yorkshire, England

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 The Stunning Chapter House Ceiling of York Minster, York

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

One of the stoneworkers working on repairs to the East End and Great East Window

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

While I could go on and on about each place, I'll finish up for today on my last solo adventure - 3 days in London - where I was so grateful to new friends, Marc and Suzannah for use of Marc's 17th floor Canary Wharf flat to use as a base from which to explore! 3 days of amazing, walks through London and mastering the DLR, tube, river boats and buses to see as much as possible and I realize that I would need months, no, years to see as much as I would like of this incredible city. Nonetheless, here is a wee taste. Again, it was the people and the places that made it all incredibly special.

 Nelson's Column - Trafalgar Square, London

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

Boadicea and her Daughters - Bronze

London Eye in the background - London old and new

Gillian Cornwall, c, September 2015

 Battle of Britain Monument on the River Thames, London

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

 The Waterloo Barracks of the Tower of London, Housing the Crown Jewels,

Jewels currently valued at around 3.68 Billion CAD

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

Her Majesty's soldiers guarding the Crown Jewels

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

 A footy-playing gnome outside a home at the Tower of London

The Yeoman Warders and other staff that live on site are locked in at 10 pm each night

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

 Tower Bridge from the Tower of London

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

 A view to a tower view - Many of the walls are 12 feet thick

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

 My View from my 17th floor flat in Canary Wharf, South Wharf, Isle of Dogs 

Feeling entirely decadent

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

 The dome of St Paul's Cathedral, London

Sir Christopher Wren's crowning achievement

Gillian Cornwall, c. October, 2015

 Ye REALLY Olde Cheshire Cheese Public House - London

Rebuilt in 1667!

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

 A view of the British Houses of Parliament

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

 Tourists and locals alike, chillin' with Ghandi

Parliament Square, London

Gillian Cornwall, c October, 2015

I had to go to Poplar because of my love for the television series, "Call the Midwife"

Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015

There is so much more I could share; so many incredible sights that I have seen and stories I have been told but, suffice it to say, it was an incredible journey of personal growth and a step in to the long history of my people on these British Isles. It was a chance to connect with family and friends old and new and to realize that England is my home too. I feel at home there in some respects. In other ways, it is all too apparent that I was born in Canada and received a Canadian education and upbringing. There are beauty and love and history in both places and I remain a citizen of both. 

I hope you enjoyed this walk through my month away and I would love to hear if you would like to see more pictures from the trip in another post. Do let me know if you would ..or wouldn't!

Go forth and enjoy your adventures, whether solo or in the company of others. Embrace the days and don't worry about how much time you have left in a place. Be present. Take it in. Talk to people. Ask questions. Share your stories. It is a beautiful world out there. In gratitude, let's share it with one another as best we can. 

-Gillian Cornwall, c. October 11, 2015

Somerton, Somerset

Gillian Cornwall, c. September, 2015

Connections

Me and Sheila Jeffries at Glastonbury Abbey

Photographer - really friendly but name unknown...

September 2015.

One of the greatest things that has happened in my lifetime is the ability to connect with people around the world via social media.

On this trip to the UK, Sheila and I created the opportunity to connect. I have "known" Sheila through Twitter for approximately 3 years and one of my main goals on this trip was to be able to meet her in person. 

It would be natural to be somewhat nervous with one another when meeting in our physical embodiment for the first time but we were quite at ease. For my part, it is not hard to be at ease with Sheila as, aside from being a brilliant writer and visual artist, she is one of the kindest, most sincere, people I have ever met. 

Please take a few moments to enjoy her website for information on her books and the projects she has undertaken in her life to date - not the least of which is planting an entire forest with her husband, Ted, in Cornwall in the south of England. 

Also, I was fortunate enough to be offered the opportunity to visit two wonderful twitter / blog friends in West Cork: April Danann @DanannSpl4ces and Trich Deeney @TrichDee. Sadly, this adventure will need to wait for my next visit, but I am eternally grateful that they welcome me to their land and their lives. 

Before coming here, I planned the trip with my cousin through Facebook Messenger and after 32 years of physical distance (though our hearts and souls are never separated), we have developed a wonderfully comfortable way of being with one another in person. 

Without social media, it would be far more difficult to be in contact and maintain relationships with my friends overseas and my family.

I feel these are fine examples of our lives being what we make of them. There is no question that people do use social media to spew vitriolic, unkind hate speak because of anger and fear, but there are as many examples of acts of loving kindness through this form. Find these people, the ones sharing their love and kindness, and share with them. Let the warmth radiate through time and space. This will create a beautiful example and legacy. I am astounded by the potential of these powerful tools of technology when they are used for well-being.

Use your social media powers for good. Use them to put forth your thoughts with as much truth and kindness as you are able. Let your ripple effect embrace others with loving kindness. Even when you disagree, try to express your opinion from a place of love and kindness. 

I find it wonderful to use these tools to come together across the world. I have met many of the people I know back in Victoria, British Columbia through social media. I use it to maintain relationships I have built with those I cannot see often because of distance or heavy travel schedules. I love to use it when I am travelling - to share my experiences with my circles. 

I know it can be used frivolously and it can be a massive time suck, but I feel it is up to me to manage that possibility.

Anyway, nothing earth-shattering or brilliant here - just my gratitude for the potential and a reminder of the gifts many of us have at our fingertips and the possibility to do good through sharing through these tools - tools which many people do not have because of poverty and accessibility. 

I am aware of the privilege of having the devices used to share with people in this way and hope that we can get technology into the hands of those who do not have it for, perhaps, through connection we can balance the scales a bit, share what we have with others and open our hearts to the ways and means of distant friends.

I am grateful to each of you who read these posts and to each of you who choose to reach out through social media with a good heart, with love and kindness. I am grateful for the opportunity to have met some of you in person, on this journey and others, and I look forward to the many relationships ahead as each one teaches me and enriches me on my path. May I be fortunate enough to bring as much to you.

In gratitude,

-Gillian Cornwall, c. September 27, 2015

Big Ben - Reminder that there is time,

time to reach out to one another with a good heart

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 25, 2015

Bridging the Gap

Sunny Afternoon - Karen's garden

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

There are 7,6165 km (4,734.741 miles) between the city of Victoria, British Columbia, Canada and Tring, Hertfordshire, UK. No matter the technology and tools at our grasp, it's a long distance. 

This is the distance I have travelled to reach the home of my cousin with whom I have felt a closeness beyond description for most of my adult life. There are so many miles but only a few years in age between Karen and I. We grew up in the same era but in a completely different area of the globe.

My cousin, Karen, at Waddesdon Manor

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

I have come back on a kind of pilgrimage, to retrace the steps of my family, to reconnect with my beloved cousin, to walk the path of my ancestors and, perhaps, to gain an understanding of what I hold as nature and what of nurture in my make up. 

My cousin and I are daughters of sisters. One sister, Marjorie, remained in England with her husband, Edward, and raised her two children, my cousins, Nick and Karen. One sister, my mother, Eunice, emigrated to Canada with her husband, Brian after having two of their children, my brothers, Chris and Bruce, in England. My parents moved to Richmond Hill, Ontario, Canada and had my youngest brother, Philip, in 1960. They moved back to England when Philip was still a babe in arms. When Phil was about a year old, they came to Canada again on the ocean liner, The Empress of Canada. Six months later, my mum gave birth to me, the fourth and last child, who was made in England and born in Canada. 

During my childhood, we travelled back to England several times - my parents having their parents and siblings here and the parent company of the business they eventually opened in Richmond Hill. We have always remained connected to this land. 

My mum's ashes are here, at Harrow on the Hill. See my article on my mum and F/O. Richard N. Foster, to gain insight into part of the reason I came back to England now. I want to further explore who my mum was before she was my mum - when she was stationed at Biggin Hill Fighter Station during the Second World War. I want to stand where she stood, to walk in her footsteps. My grandma and my Auntie Marjorie were laid to rest here.

The Church Spire at Harrow on the Hill

Dated 1047

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

Part of my heart and soul are here, in the air, the soil and the people of this land. This is my first time back here in 32 years - since we brought my mum's ashes back from Canada. Like I said, it's a long way from my Victoria home. 

I'm sure this is all more than enough family history for you. What I really want to touch on is that despite the discomforts that travel unto itself can bring (right now my back is exploding in pain spasms) and the difficulty in adjusting to a new place - the differences in water, jet lag and ways of being and doing, there is greater comfort in being here with my cousin, Karen. I have longed for years to be back with my blood, my kin. There is nothing that can take the place of this relationship in my life. She and her daughter, Tess, are the only other women in my direct family line with whom I have an attachment. My cousin, Nick, has two daughters but I have not seen them since they were tiny. 

It means so much to me to be here and that Karen has welcomed me into her home. We are already saying the same thing at the same time. We eat the same types of foods. We are both strong advocates for human rights. We are different from each other as well. She knows more about our family history on the Jay side and I have this wonderful opportunity to learn from her. She is incredibly strong - physically and intellectually, with a phenomenal and admirable emotional intelligence. She has shown an enormous capacity to deal with difficult situations. I love her to the moon and back and admire her for all she has done in her life and for all she teaches me through the example of her life.

 

 My temporary home - Wigginton, near Tring

Gillian Cornwall, c. September 2015

I am grateful to be here, to have created this opportunity to walk in the path of my ancestors. There is so much to do and so many kind people who are inviting me into their lives and homes here. I wish I had the strength, ability and time to do it all! 

If there is something like this in your life that you have wanted to do, then do your best to find a way. I set aside a bit of money every month. I sold things I no longer needed nor wanted - books, jewelry, collectibles. I went into a bit more debt because I thought, if not now, then when? Also, I know I am privileged to take this journey. I am getting older and my body is weaker (trying to make it stronger!). We have this life and these people. Every day is a gift of possibility. Embrace it. Do what you can and go after your dreams and desires. 

I am so happy to be here in the midst of this adventure with the most beautiful woman - learning, growing, laughing and sharing with incredible people. 

This is The Art of Life.

-Gillian Cornwall, c. September 20, 2015

Me - Waddesdon Manor

Photo Credit - Karen Jay, c. September 2015