We Are One

Plumeria, Lana'i, Hawaii

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2012

At the risk of going all Game of Thrones on you, let's talk about being the faceless human or actually, the downside of individual identity - because I am really starting to question how it serves the one or the many.

Now, to qualify a little bit: Sure, it's just grand to be unique but I am considering that it is only great to be unique if we lift one another up in our difference and pull all those beautiful, unique, colourful threads together to make strong cloth. Right now, this does not appear to be humanity's modus operandi. We hold our difference to us as commodity and value and a reason to have something no one else can have. We use our difference to remain unique and separate. We use our difference because it has cost us to be different in the past and it owes us so we keep it close. Our difference has caused fear, hate and violence from others and we want restitution. 

Some of us strike back when we are stronger. We say, "Yes, I'm different and proud and taking back what's mine!" Sometimes, in doing so, we hurt and negate others who may have hurt us in the past or are the ones responsible for our past hurts. I am not judging this, merely exploring it, for myself - because I am no different than anyone else in my experience of pain and suffering and separation because of difference and my desire to be be see, heard and to know that what I feel means something to someone other than me.

I'm not saying we are all approaching this in the best or the worst way. Just chatting, folks. Just chatting and wondering when and how we can heal from harms done? When will we be well enough to move forward together? How does that happen? Does it take leaders of spiritual doctrines: the dalai lama, pope, archbishop or the like to give credence to the idea of solidarity? Hm, no, I don't think so. It seems to me that we are still putting some folks on the inside and some on the outside through religious doctrine and power structures. 

Is it the nature of all living things to set boundaries and separations for survival? Do other mammals ostracize and separate others for their difference? I know some vie for authority within their groupings to be head wolf, gorilla, lion and so on. Are we really just the same but with opposable thumbs and clothes? 

Humanity, with our prescription to being the top of the food chain and able to reason and be better than the rest, continues to divide and separate, ostracize and take more than we give, clinging to what we have, careless of the impact on the whole. In our fear, we cling to our blanket of protection - whatever that is to us - and pull it from the body of the perfect sleeping Mother that is the rest of the world, leaving her exposed, vulnerable, sick and dying. 

We suck. We are greedy and fearful and endlessly hungry. We divide, separate and conquer. Can we learn? Can we do it soon enough? We better start trying because our Mother is sick, cold and there is little medicine left to bring her back because we have taken all the comfort for ourselves, hungry little locusts that we are. 

Perhaps our goal is actually to self-destruct, eradicate ourselves from the planet as a weed, so the mother can go on doing what she does well without us as the tick on her neck. We are Earth's bad rash, naught but a fever soon forgotten in the big scheme of things. It's a shame that we are flawed with our all-consuming need to take and keep that which could be so easily shared. 

All I can do is think and act in a way that reduces my consumption. I can try to help other living things; try not to be so self-focused. I can give equal to that which I receive - at the very least. I can do better. We can all do better. We can start by breathing deeply and releasing our fear on the exhale. Smile ...and walk in peace. 

Who are you? Look into the eyes of another; you will find yourself there. 

-Gillian Cornwall, c. May 28, 2017

Coconut Palms, Lana'i, Hawaii

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2012

Rock to Sand

The Beach at Hulopoe, Lana'i Hawaii

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2012

I was born a rock, projected into this world, whole, a unity of DNA from all of those who have passed before me in the paternal lines of Cornwall and the maternal lines of Jay. I am searching back through these lines, searching for the end of the strand, knowing it lands in the cradle of the world from whence each one of us has risen at the dawn of humanity. 

I was born a rock and at 55 I am eroded to sand, but sand is a beach and everyone loves a beach, right? Tell me it's true, please? I search for worth amidst the grains remaining as I am gradually washed back to the mother ocean, wave after wave, pulling me home. 

Cornwall, Kernow - likely my father's people arose from here, as many of that name have done. I am drawn to the shores of this southwest peninsula of England. A place that has held its own culture and nationhood in its soul since first inhabited in the Palaeolithic and Mesolithic periods. I am spending time learning the language and the ways of the people to gain a better understanding of that which is likely the birthplace of the paternal side of my family. 

Jay, the bird, in English etymology, and "joyous" from the French "gai" or Roman "gaius." My mother's side of the family hails far back in England and, before that, French. It is much harder to trace the maternal line as men have held power and, in their self-importance, power over record, for ...well, forever I suppose - at least in Western culture. 

As the beach, how does one remain strong? How does one stay strong when the rock is hollowed out and the last of us crumbles to join the rest of the sand? Is there strength in simply letting go? Is there strength and hope in knowing that each grain of sand is unique and each piece of us is unique? Together, we stretch out to the mother ocean united as a place between land and sea. Like I describe myself always, I am a conduit, a bridge, between people, places, and times. A conduit is not an easy thing to be because one is not seen so easily when broken down to sand or stretched between this and that. One is a road rather than a destination and often forgotten when the journey ends. 

I am something. You may not remember me, but I have been here and remain, like the via of Roman times, the scar of me remains, the lines in the landscape and long after you have passed along me or through me, I remain. I am the journey you have made and the place between places. I am Kernow, kernou. I am Jay, duGai. I am one with the mother and a strand in the colourful blanket of humanity - strong, unique, worn, fragile. I am the sand beneath your feet when you stare out to sea, on the edge between land and water, masculine and feminine, here and not here. I am.

Meur ras.

Vyaj salow!

-Gillian Cornwall, c. May 21, 2017

Dedicated to my friend, Nadita Beauchamp

Thanks for inspiring me, for seeing me and for lifting me up

St. Ives, Cornwall (Kernow)

Photo by: Sheila Jeffries (author extraordinaire)

(used with previous written permission) 

Mothers Day

Me and my mum, circa, 1966/67

Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Photo by: Brian F. Cornwall

Mothers. Everyone has at least one in their lifetime. As far as I am concerned, we all have a minimum (mini-mum?) of two:

1. The mother who physically birthed us into being and
2. The great Mother Earth who has birthed everything and all of us and sustains us through the abuse she suffers at the hands of her human children. 

Sadly, many mothers share the experience of Mother Earth in the raising of their children. 

Women, strong, beautiful, life-sustaining women. Megan Murphy speaks so eloquently on who we are as women:

Women all have capacity to be mothers. Many of us have acted in a mothering role to young people who were not of our wombs but are no less of our hearts. Many women have children who have walked away from them and there are mothers who have turned away from their offspring. There is pain in these stories and the pain itself is testament to love or a desire to be loved. 

Seek inside yourself. Seek by walking in the forests and by the waters of the great Mother Earth for there is always love for you in these places. The Great Mother will never turn away from you unless you completely ignore her needs and do not care for her at all so that she herself no longer exists - while she exists, so you have life.

Love all of your mothers, for the very idea of their existence implicates your existence. Be thankful to your mothers for the gifts they have brought you and the space they have created for you to love and prosper. Be grateful for the sacrifices mothers have made for you and think of ways, beyond this day, that you can give back - even if that means only walking a good path and living a good life to show you are grateful for the massive gift of life you have been given. 

We will all let each other down at times for we have expectations and that is what creates opportunity for disappointment. For those of us who were hurt as children, let your hurt out now you are grown. Find a kind way to put it down, look at it for what it was and is now and then do your level best to move on without it. 

You may carry the scars of your past as any warrior does, but do not let them define you as ugly or beautiful for they are our stories, written on our skin, in our hearts and on our faces. Be proud that you remain and that you remember how to turn your face to the sun, to feel her heat and light. Feel the love of Mother Earth rise up through the dirt below your feet and through you as a fresh mountain spring, an endless source of light and healing energy. You needn't fear anymore that there is not enough love for you as long as you take time to feel this energy flowing through you.

Each of us was made as a conduit for universal love, light and well-being, so breathe, smile and let go with gratitude for the life our mothers have given us and continue to give us every day.

Gillian Cornwall, c. May 14, 2017

Eunice Audrey Jay - my mum

Photographer unknown - circa 1944?

The Life Compassionate

A Path to Knowledge - University of Victoria

Gillian Cornwall c. 2013

I am breathing life into this article from May 2015 because I am struggling right now and I very much know what it feels like to wonder why some people lack compassion and, I think, if I am struggling, others must be as well. This is for you and for me. I am thinking of you and holding on, letting go and doing my best ...and that is plenty!

What does it mean to be compassionate? The Oxford definition tells us this:

Adjective: "Feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others."

I quite like this Huffington Post, The Third Metric article, 8 Ways to Tell if You're a Truly Compassionate Person.

In particular, what I am thinking about today is, how do we become or remain compassionate in the face of disappointment or hurt? ...and, even as I type this, I remember my lessons from Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements:

1. Be impeccable with your words
2. Don't take anything personally
3. Don't make assumptions
4. Do your best.

In this, I have my answer to the question above. We are emotionally hurt when we take the actions of others personally and when we make assumptions with respect to the intent of another. Oh, I know, so much easier said than done, right? ...but, that is where it gets interesting because all we can do is:

• Be impeccable with our words and
• Do our best.

Consider, when you first feel hurt by the actions of another:

• Where is this person on their own path to awareness and enlightenment?
• Would this person intentionally hurt me?
• Am I able to not make assumptions and ask them about the things which have caused me hurt?
• What do I need to do for myself in order to create a healthy path towards my own well-being and the well-being of the world that will act as a counter-balance to violent behaviour or behaviour lacking compassion?

When we go to, and stay in, our initial feelings of hurt, we perpetuate a path that ultimately lacks resolution and relinquishes personal power:

"Why is Bob so inconsiderate? Why would he do this to me?" 

We concede our power in these statements and assume that Bob set out to do us harm. Certainly, this may be the case, but can Bob actually do us harm if we do not accept his actions as such? Why would Bob do this to us? Almost every time I have investigated and excavated this question, I have come to the same root:

fear

Those of you who have read my blog before are probably fed up to the teeth with this one:

Everything we do as humans is motivated by either love or fear. 

Let us do our best to choose love in our actions: Love for each other and love for ourselves. 

Thank you to everyone in my life that I have encountered on my daily path in Victoria, BC and around the world, through the gift of inter-connectivity and social media, for teaching me and giving me room to learn these lessons. Thank you for not holding me to a standard of perfection that I do not even understand. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your compassion. I will try to honour your love and teachings by the path I walk and the legacy I hope to leave in the hearts of my fellow beings. 

Wishing you each a beautiful and peaceful week. 

Please remember, if someone is hurting you and you do feel stuck and alone, there are people and resources to help. These are a few:

In the moment: Call Emergency Services. In North America, call: 911 Please check the number in your part of the world and commit it to memory. Get out of the immediate environment in which the hurt is happening and seek safety and asylum.

Take Action / Follow up: Seek services to help keep you safe and set you on a happier, safer path:

RAINN https://www.rainn.org/get-help/sexual-assault-and-rape-international-resources 

It Gets Better http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

Kids Help Phone http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/teens/home/splash.aspx

These are just a very few and I am not affiliated with these providers. Even if all is well in your world, take some time to familiarize yourself with resources in your area and online in order to be ready to help yourself or another should you ever find yourself in that position. Also, many organizations lack regular, base funding and can use whatever resources you can help provide. Its all part of the life compassionate. 

Please feel free to add your local organizations in the comments portion of the blog to help others. 

-Gillian Cornwall, May 7, 2017

Originally Posted, c. May 31, 2015

Balance and Peace

Gillian Cornwall, c. 2013