Roses - Princess Gardens, Edinburgh
Photo: Gillian Cornwall, c. October 2015
Happiness is great. Who doesn't like being happy? The thing is, if you're not feeling happy, that's okay too. Be where you're at. Feel what you feel. Walk through it in a way that makes sense to you and in a way that is sustainable within your truth. Let's not talk about "making" people better, rather let us stand guard for one another as we traverse our own personal journeys without judgement or emotional enforcement.
Perhaps we can look at the journey from pain and suffering to joy differently, for our healing must ring true to each of us individually.
When has enough of our fear, pain and loss fallen away, rendering us emptied, hollowed, then hallowed, enlightened, perhaps light enough to float above that which has weighed us down and anchored us by our very core, so much so that we cannot clearly see a way beyond the suffering?
When we can gain that distance, that view from outside, that view from above, we can see a way - an opportunity perhaps. Maybe something catches our eye and, when we zoom in, we laugh at ourselves for the shiny object was simply the top of a pop can and not a golden ring ...this time... but at least that flash of excitement, the flutter in our bellies, has reminded us of what it is like to hope, to wish and to dream - and that is enough for now.
When the feeling, the understanding, becomes the goal or prize, then perhaps we have won a vacation from our suffering - and that is enough for now. In time, sometimes, the solitary void becomes the opportunity that we ourselves can fill and maybe we are even glad that we don't have to check in with someone else before we leap. For a moment, an hour, or a day, we remember that we can be alone and not just lonely and all the light and air surrounding us is enough, for now, and maybe this time we won't ruin it looking for the villain of yesteryear or the open crevice into which we will fall once again, filled with the dread that we won't have the strength to pull ourselves out ....again.
Perhaps we can look at the journey from pain and suffering to joy differently, for our healing must ring true to each of us individually.
When has enough of our fear, pain and loss fallen away, rendering us emptied, hollowed, then hallowed, enlightened, perhaps light enough to float above that which has weighed us down and anchored us by our very core, so much so that we cannot clearly see a way beyond the suffering?
When we can gain that distance, that view from outside, that view from above, we can see a way - an opportunity perhaps. Maybe something catches our eye and, when we zoom in, we laugh at ourselves for the shiny object was simply the top of a pop can and not a golden ring ...this time... but at least that flash of excitement, the flutter in our bellies, has reminded us of what it is like to hope, to wish and to dream - and that is enough for now.
When the feeling, the understanding, becomes the goal or prize, then perhaps we have won a vacation from our suffering - and that is enough for now. In time, sometimes, the solitary void becomes the opportunity that we ourselves can fill and maybe we are even glad that we don't have to check in with someone else before we leap. For a moment, an hour, or a day, we remember that we can be alone and not just lonely and all the light and air surrounding us is enough, for now, and maybe this time we won't ruin it looking for the villain of yesteryear or the open crevice into which we will fall once again, filled with the dread that we won't have the strength to pull ourselves out ....again.
A long time ago, I let go. I gave up and let myself fall. And nothing bad happened. As I fell, I wondered what the bottom felt like and, just when it was right below me and I cringed in expectation of the bone-crushing impact, I fell through the bottom and found myself at the top of something else.
How do we define the layers? Can our decline in fact be our pinnacle? Can the base be the apex? I suppose it depends how we feel and what we are ready to see.
Let us not judge one another for our feelings. No one needs to make us smile nor feel better. This cannot come from external influence and remain sustainable. Understanding is sustainable. We people have some burning desire to "push one another into happy" as though it were legislated. Why? - because it makes the legislator feel better.
Let people be. Sit with them in their sadness and grief. We don't have to fix it - simply acknowledge it. Feel the person soften in your arms. Let them weep on you while you stand guard for them. You won't rust. Let them be in their grief until they are not. Their feelings are as real and valid as those which are joyful.
Let us be patient and kind. Let us love one another.
Gillian Cornwall, c. October 15, 2017
Be Where You are - Lana'i, Hawaii
Photo: Gillian Cornwall, c. December 2012
